Mistletoe Mayhem
by Neko-Chan in Wonderland
Summary: [Xmas Oneshot] It's a crazy Christmas in Konoha, especially with the visiting members of the Sand Village, and this mysterious Mistletoe Ninja who seems to be catching everone under his trap! See inside for pairings!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. This is only about the second time I've said that! (Gasp)

**A/N:** Ok, Naruto Xmas fic!!!!!! Enjoy! Pairings: Naruto/Hinata, Sakura/?, Kakashi/?, Shikamaru/Temari, Gaara/OC, Neji/Ten Ten

* * *

"AWRIGHT! CHRISTMAS IS HERE AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!" Naruto yelled in his usual loud and obnoxious manner, causing people around to stare.

"Keep it down, fool." Gaara commented in a low voice, an aggravated twitch appearing at the corner of his head.

"IT MEANS CANDY AND MISTLETOE, AND BEST OF ALL—PRESENTS!!!" Naruto cheered.

"What a drag…" Shikamaru groaned. "Are you hoping to get Sakura under the mistletoe? She'll beat you up for sure."

Naruto shook his head. "No way! Sakura-chan and I are just friends, I've moved on! This year, I told myself that I would find myself another girl—one way less scary than Sakura-chan!"

Gaara rolled his eyes. _Why am I even hanging out with these dorks? I know Christmas is a vital time to make friendships and connections with other villages… but this is ridiculous._

"What about you Shikamaru?" Naruto continued with a smirk. "You going to get something nice for Temari-san?" He snickered, elbowing Shikamaru.

"D-don't be ridiculous!" Shikamaru retorted. "I don't like that woman she's scary as hell!"

"Who's scary as hell?" A feminine voice came from behind him. Shikamaru picked this time to mysteriously disappear as Temari approached, arms crossed.

"Shikamaru's mom!" Naruto lied nervously, caving slightly under her pressing gaze. He sighed inwardly as she shifted it to Gaara.

"Happy Holidays Gaara-sama." Temari grinned. "It's a great time of year isn't it?"

Gaara nodded in response. "Bought anything for Shikamaru yet?" He asked with a blank face. Those who knew him well enough could realize this was his version of teasing. Others backed away cautiously.

"W-why would I buy anything for _him_? We've only done a few missions together, what a strange thing to say, Gaara-sama! Right Naruto?" Temari laughed nervously and slapped Naruto's back, sending him face-first into the snow.

Gaara shrugged. "You tell me." Without another word he began walking away.

"H-hey, Gaara!" Naruto stumbled out of the snow and ran after him. "Wait up!"

By the time Naruto had caught up with Gaara Kankuro had joined the party.

"Temari sure gave us a weird reaction." Kankuro observed, having witnessed the scene.

"Shikamaru too." Gaara nodded.

"IT MEANS WE HAVE TO GET THEM TOGETHER!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Why?" Gaara blinked.

("Where the hell did he come from?")

"THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS! COME ON GAARA, KANKURO! WE'RE ALL FRIENDS NOW, SO LET'S DO THIS!!"

"…" Gaara blinked a few more times. Kankuro did the same, before laughing. "All right, but only because I'd pay to see Temari with a boyfriend. Weeks and weeks of reasons to ridicule her."

"F-_fine_." Gaara twitched noticeably. _Think about the treaty…_

* * *

Hinata shuffled her feet anxiously at the window of a store. It was Christmas Eve and she still didn't have the perfect gift for Naruto. She didn't know _what_ to get him. She thought of the new type of shuriken, since Naruto was always looking for something new to do, or a scroll for an advanced jutsu. But she thought it over and decided that she didn't want to talk about fighting during Christmas and that those gifts weren't romantic at all. She wanted something that would express her feelings towards him.

But all those girly romantic stuff seemed overboard, and she wasn't sure if Naruto would even like those kinds of things. So she just kept walking from store to store and sighing.

"Hinata, what are you doing?" Hinata looked up to see Neji looking at her, arms crossed.

"N-nothing, oniichan!" Hinata stuttered, blushing.

Neji looked up at the name of the store. "A gift shop, huh? Who are you looking to buy for?"

"N-nobody!" Hinata squeaked, blushing even darker, and looking at her feet.

"So it's Naruto, huh?" Neji observed. He grinned. "I don't know what it is about him that attracts you. He's loud and obnoxious and always so damn annoying. Kind of the opposite of you."

"B-but he's also really kind and confident, and always tries his hardest!" Hinata shook her head, jumping to defend him.

Neji paused and before continuing to walk, ruffling her hair as he walked by. "Good luck."

Hinata blinked as he walked away. "People sure do act strange during the holidays…"

* * *

"INO-CHAN! Have you heard about it?" Sakura asked Ino, leaning over the counter of the flower shop.

"Heard about _what_, billboard brow?" Ino grumbled, but stopped to listen anyway.

"The Mistletoe Ninja!" Sakura hissed.

"The _Mistletoe Ninja_? Is there anything inside that wide forehead of yours?" Ino raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"NO REALLY! It's this ninja, and every Christmas; he uses his ninja arts to make mistletoes randomly appear over couples unexpectedly! And whoever kisses under a mistletoe set by him always end up being a couple forever!" Sakura didn't even bother hiding her excitement.

"Whoa…" Ino grinned. "I wonder who he'll manage to get this year! I bet it'll be me and Sasuke!"

"You wish! It'll definitely be Sasuke and ME. CHYA!"

The two girls exchanged hostile looks for a moment before continuing the conversation. "I heard that the Mistletoe Ninja wears this mask and never takes it off!"

Both of them turn towards the window as Kakashi walks by whistling "Deck the Halls" while reading Make-Out Paradise: Christmas Edition. They looked at each other.

"NAH."

* * *

"Okay! Here's the plan! We're going to get them alone and under the mistletoe together!" Naruto announced to Kankuro. Gaara had muttered something about having work to do and wandered off.

"And HOW do you propose we do that?"

"Uh…"

Kankuro sighed. "Okay, how about we do the generic, I tell Temari to meet me under a tree somewhere and you tell Shikamaru to meet you there also, and we just won't show up. And we'll tie mistletoe to the tree. Sound like a plan?"

"YOU'RE SO SMART, KANKURO!" Naruto applauded.

"Or maybe you're just really dumb…" Kankuro muttered.

* * *

Gaara shuffled through the snow with a sense of relief, having finally escaped Naruto. That guy always got on his nerves big time. The cork on his sand often rattled unsettlingly when he spoke.

He closed his eyes and turned his face skywards. The snow felt so much softer than sand.

Ting 

His thoughts were rudely interrupted as someone collided suddenly into him. He reflexively grabbed whatever it was.

Gaara's eyes snapped open to find a girl in his arms, chocolate hair tumbling over thin, frail shoulders, with soft green eyes looking up at him from a blushing face. Gaara pushed her away immediately without a word.

"Ah, I'm so sorry!" She blushed deeper. "I should really refrain from looking at the sky as I walk." She laughed nervously.

Gaara twitched but he let it go. After all, he had been doing the same thing. "It's fine." He began walking away.

"No it's not!" She grabbed his hand. "Here!" He heard a soft tinkle as she slipped something into his fingers. "I know it's a useless gift but I'm sorry that I don't have anything better right now! You can put it on your Christmas tree or something! Merry Christmas!"

Gaara heard snow crunching as she began walking away. He uncurled his fingers to see two bells connected by a string jingling in his palm. When he rang them they went _ting_. It must have been in her hair before. He turned around. "Hey. Your name."

She was a few feet away from him at this point, but still in earshot. She grinned. "Sachiko. And yours?"

Gaara paused. Should he tell her? What point would there be telling some useless random girl his name? But then again, where was the harm? "Gaara." He replied.

"Well, see you later, Gaara-kun!" She waved and ran off.

Gaara blinked and wondered if anyone had ever called him "Gaara-kun" before. He shrugged. "Women are such a waste of time."

* * *

Sasuke looked up at the sky. "Christmas… It makes me remember when I spent it with my family."(Emo silence) "God the holidays make me more emo than usual. That's why I won't be appearing in this fanfic again. The good news is I just saved a bunch of money on my chakra insurance by switching to Geiko."

* * *

"Hey!" Temari rubbed her arm and looked up at whoever bumped into her.

"Ah, s-sorry!" Hinata apologized bowing. She looked up. "Ah, Temari-san!"

"Oh, hey Hinata." She smiled. "What are you rushing around for?"

"Mm… nothing really… I'm just trying to find the perfect gift for someone really special…" Hinata muttered distractedly, looking around. Time was running out.

"Ah… you must be talking about Naruto… Well here's a hint. If I know that kid, the best thing to say in this situation is the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Temari nodded knowingly.

Hinata looked up instantly. "Stomach… That's it! Thank you so much, Temari-san!" She paused. "Have you gotten anything for Shikamaru yet?"

Temari blushed gave an exasperated sigh. "I don't know WHY everyone keeps asking me about SHIKAMARU. For god's sake I _DON'T_ like him!" Hinata looked at her doubtfully. "I'M SERIOUS!"

Hinata giggled. "Whatever you say Temari-san. Thanks for the advice!" She bowed again and ran off waving and grinning.

"No problem." She grumbled. "Now what tree did Kankuro tell me to meet him under? I hope he's not professing his undying love for me or something ridiculous like that…"

* * *

"What a drag… Where the hell is Naruto anyway?" Shikamaru grumbled, leaning idly against a tree. Unbeknownst to him, the said person was crouched behind the bushes with Kankuro. 

"Okay, Naruto. There's Shikamaru. Temari should be here soon. Did you hang the mistletoe?" Kankuro whispered.

"Uh… I thought _you_ were bringing the mistletoe…" Naruto whispered back.

Kankuro smacked him over the head. "YOU IDIOT!" He whisper-yelled.

"Ah, here comes Temari-san!" Naruto said quickly, trying to divert the attention. "Maybe something will happen anyway!"

"Ah, Shikamaru!" Temari blinked in surprise.

Shikamaru mirrored her expression. "Um, hi Temari… S-seen Naruto anywhere?"

"N-no, seen Kankuro anywhere?" Temari replied, joining him under the tree.

"Nope." Shikamaru replied. A long, awkward silence followed.

"Hey, Shikamaru. Listen…" Temari started, shuffling her feet. "Um, well… we've done a lot of missions together… and well…"

Just as Shikamaru turned to look at her, a shadow streaked through the forest as a ninja landed on the tree branch above their heads. A chunk of snow fell on Shikamaru's head. "What a drag…" He groaned as he wiped it off. The ninja had already disappeared, but as the two looked up they saw small twinkling mistletoe in its place. They shifted their gazes nervously to each other. Shikamaru gulped slightly and Temari's cheeks dusted pink.

"Um… that's a mistletoe, isn't it?" Temari said nervously.

"Probably…" Shikamaru replied, equally nervous. "Um… you know, since we're alone… if you want we can just pretend we never saw—"

Shikamaru was interrupted by Temari, who without hesitation swung her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his.

After a moment they broke off blushing madly. They resumed leaning against the tree, not looking at each other. After a moment Shikamaru's hand crept over and grasped Temari's causing her to stiffen.

He laughed slightly. "I like women who make the first move."

Temari relaxed and leaned on his shoulder, laughing as well. "And I like a man who I can beat up whenever I want."

"SUCCESS!" Kankuro and Naruto whispered in the bushes, Naruto giggling uncontrollably.

"Wait till I tell Gaara-sama!" Kankuro stifled laughter. "Temari is never going to hear the end of this!"

"Well, sorry to leave you, but I promised Hinata-chan I'd meet her somewhere!" Naruto waved, before streaking off.

* * *

"Ah, Hinata-chan, sorry I'm late I got caught up in something with Kankuro… So what did you want to show me?" Naruto apologized as he approached Hinata.

"Um, it's okay… well, it's just that… Um… Well, since it's Christmas time, I thought I should get you something so um… I'll treat you to an all you can eat ramen dinner!" Hinata exclaimed, blushing.

"REALLY, HINATA-CHAN?" Naruto burst out, grabbing Hinata's shoulders.

"Y-yeah…" Hinata stuttered in shock.

"Wow thanks so much, Hinata-chan!" Naruto hugged her tight. "This is the best gift ever! Come on, let's go! To the ramen place!"

Naruto ran to his favorite ramen place, a barely conscious Hinata in tow.

* * *

"Hey, Gaara-sama!" Kankuro burst into the house where they were temporarily staying for this holiday. "Temari and Shikamaru are together! It worked! Although I don't really know _how_ the mistletoe got there, that's not the point! Hey, Gaara-sama, are you even listening?"

Silence came from Gaara's end of the conversation. He was seated by the window, leaning on the windowsill, his arm stretched out, watching the two bells glint in the moonlight. He didn't know why it captivated him so much. Every time the bells knocked together with a _ting_ he would remember the girl from earlier in the evening. It was becoming increasingly irritating to Gaara how he couldn't get this bothersome woman out of his mind. He had better things to do than mull over some girl. But still her eyes…

"Gaara-sama?"

Her eyes… were so captivating…

"Gaara-sama?"

He looked down into the street below. And there, like magic—was the girl he had met before. She was walking down the street when she stopped and crouched down to stroke the fur of a cat that was walking by.

"Gaara—"

Gaara stood up and walked out of the room, without even noticing Kankuro.

Kankuro blinked. "What's gotten into him?"

* * *

Shino and Kiba sat side-by-side on a bench. "Seems like we're not appearing in this fan fiction… Bummer…" Shino commented.

The snow fell serenely around them as Kiba's hand grasped Shino's suddenly. "You know…" Kiba stammered, blushing. "I've always found those mysterious dark glasses captivating, making me curious about the man behind them…"

"Really… I've always found your animalistic ways extremely seductive…" Shino replied, gripping Kiba's hand tighter.

They leaned in quietly, their lips nearly touching…

…

"GODDAMMIT I CAN'T DO THIS!" Kiba jumped to the opposite end of the bench.

"Tell me about it…" Shino shuddered.

"THIS ISN'T A FREAKIN SLASH FIC!"

* * *

"Mm, Hinata-chan, this is awesome! Thanks so much!" Naruto said between gulps of ramen.

Hinata smiled, picking delicately at her own ramen (diet ramen, of course).

"But I feel really bad, I haven't had the chance to buy anything for you!" Naruto frowned.

"It's okay, really, Naruto-kun! Eating ramen with you is a gift enough!" Hinata blushed. "I mean…" She looked down quickly.

"Eh? Really? That's so sweet, Hinata-chan! You know, I could really use a girlfriend like you Hinata-chan!" Naruto grinned. "What do you say? To make up for the ramen you can be the girlfriend of the future hokage!" He laughed.

Hinata froze completely, her face totally red. "T-That, Naruto-kun, do you mean it?" She stammered, looking like she was about to pass out.

"Of course!" He took another bite of ramen before taking her hand. "Hinata-chan is really sweet and always makes me feel better when I've lost my usual confidence. And you're not scary like Sakura-chan or Temari-san! And plus you're cute too! So of course!"

Hinata was pretty much swooning at this point, her chopsticks had escaped her grip at the first "of course".

There was a sudden rush of air around them, and a clatter as Hinata's ramen was knocked over. They looked up to see a set of footprints on the counter and then further up to see a set of mistletoe on the ceiling.

Hinata went from bright red to pasty white. _MISTLETOE???_ This would be her first kiss too!

This time even Naruto had lost his previous confidence. "Uh… ha…" He scratched the side of his face unsurely. "Mistletoe, huh? So um…"

Hinata blinked but before she knew it, Naruto's lips had covered hers in a kiss.

He broke off smiling. "Merry Christmas, Hinata-chan."

At this point Hinata really did faint, falling in a dizzy blushing daze into Naruto's arms.

* * *

Gaara had just reached the door leading out of his house when he wondered what he was doing. This was increasingly stupid of him to go out of his way for this girl, Sachiko. He paused for a long moment; hand still on the door handle, before he sighed. He figured the easiest way to get her out of his mind was to see her again. He slid the door open without further hesitation and walked out to stand in front of her crouched frame. As his shadow fell upon her she looked up.

"Oh hi Gaara-kun!" She smiled and stood up. "Funny seeing you here."

He just stared at her without response, gripping the bells tighter in his hand.

"Well, do you want to go for a walk?" Sachiko suggested, walking over to him.

Gaara nodded slightly but didn't move.

"Well, come on!" Sachiko giggled. "You really are a silent one." She stopped just in front of him. "But your eyes tell me you're kind. Ah, what's this? You have 'love' tattooed to your forehead!" She reached up to brush some of his red locks away from the character written on his head when he reached up suddenly and grabbed her wrist. Her eyes widened.

"Don't… that was… a lie…" He looked down, his face contorted in pain, his grip on her wrist weakening. She took the chance to slip her hand down so that her fingers entwined with his. She hesitantly reached out and touched his cheek, turning his face to look at her.

"Love is never a lie, Gaara-kun." She smiled.

The tree branches rustled above, and Gaara's instincts quickly took over as he pulled her behind him and assumed a protective stance, ready for a fight. There was silence. Whoever it was had passed. He looked up for any clue of who it may have been but only saw mistletoe hanging on the bare branch above their heads. He slipped the shuriken back into his pocket, puzzled.

"Gaara-kun?"

Gaara turned to face Sachiko but was instead met with her lips. He stood stiff with wide eyes. The bells in his hand dropped to the ground with a _ting_. She pulled back and looked down. "Ah, you still have this?" She giggled and crouched down to pick it up. She straightened and snapped it in half. She clutched one bell while handing him the other. "One for you and one for me." She grinned. "Merry Christmas, Gaara-kun!"

"M-Merry Christmas, Sachiko…" Gaara stammered, still in a state of shock.

* * *

Neji and Ten-Ten were doing last minute Christmas shopping together, and a snow had begun steadily falling around them.

"Wow!" Ten-Ten breathed, looking up as they walked.

Neji cracked the slightest smile as well. "Yeah… it's nice, isn't it?"

The snow swirled around them as the tree above their heads shook. They looked up to see mistletoe hanging there.

"The infamous mistletoe ninja has struck again, I see." Ten-Ten grinned. "Does that mean we're meant for each other?"

Neji shrugged and returned her grin with a smirk. "Shall we give it a try?"

"Of course."

They leaned in and kissed.

At that exact moment, our infamous mistletoe ninja made a slight miscalculation and crashed straight into Sakura Haruno.

Sakura blinked up at the person, and then down at the mistletoe spilling onto the snow. "Y-YOU'RE THE MISTLETOE NINJA?" She gaped.

He laughed. "Looks like you found me out. And I told myself whoever could find out my identity would be who I shared a mistletoe with." He picked one up and held it above him.

Sakura gaped disbelievingly.

"Merry Christmas Sakura-chan!"

And at that very moment on Christmas Eve Sakura shared her first kiss under the mistletoe with none other than Hatake Kakashi.


End file.
